Friday, September 24, 2010

Supernatural - Season 1, Episode 7: "Hook Man"


When the best thing in your episode is a half-second Ghostbusters reference, you're in trouble. It's almost as though someone lost a bet and had to create an episode that demonstrates the worst habits that Supernatural is guilty, effectively creating a How-Not-To guide (or a "Don't Do What Donny Don't Does" book, if you're more Simpsons inclined), for making television.

So what exactly is so wrong with "Hook Man"? The biggest infractions is that it requires, nay, insists that its viewers suspend their sense of disbelief far beyond a level that is respectful of human intelligence. I'm not talking about the presence of monsters and whatnot; it's a fantasy show, it's okay to have the monsters. What I'm talking about is having Sam and Dean show up in a town, investigating a suspicious crime (fine). When they get there, they realize that the whole thing is happening because of "The Hook Man" (of campfire story fame) (fine, although tackling a familiar legend is done much better in "Bloody Mary"). There, they meet up with the virginal girl from the opening scene whose date was slaughtered by the aforementioned hook man. In said opening scene, there is a criminally bad portion where virgin heroine leaves her sorority house.

Slutty friend: Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Virgin girl: There's nothing you wouldn't do.
*Virgin girl leaves, at which point, slutty friend turns back to her book, and speaking entirely to herself says
Slutty friend: It's true.
*Slutty friend smiles to herself smugly and fiendishly

Seriously? What is this, porn? There are times when a soliloquy is acceptable for pushing forward a character's development, but this was just poorly written self-indulgence. Anyway, back to the story.

So Sam and Dean introduce themselves to virgin girl after the boyfriend's funeral, and she instantly takes to Sam. Like immediately. All he's done is awkwardly say "I know how you feel... I saw somebody get hurt once" and she's ready to reveal all her secrets. Then, when slutty friend is brutally murdered, she sees Sam and Dean drive skulking by the crime scene. Rather than considering that they might have had something to do with it, she immediately assumes that they are there to help. Then, as Sam is lurking around her house, she spies him and comes outside. At this point, she does the most logical thing and tells Sam that she has called the police. But wait, she's just joking, and she sits down next to Sam on the curb, thanks him for protecting her, and starts making out with him. If she were to explain that she was acting out of grief or something, it may be a little easier to swallow. Instead, she gives a half-assed "you're the only one who understands me" speech to Sam, who I must remind you, she has only spoken to for about three minutes. But, alas, we are supposed to accept that this really is a special kind of girl (we get told that she's hot enough times that even if we don't personally agree, we must accept that in Supernatural's world, this one is to-die-for gorgeous) who Sam is only able to refuse by immense force of will (and guilt). The episode's one affective scene comes at the end when the brothers are getting ready to drive away, looking at virgin girl in the rearview mirror. Dean proposes that they could stay for awhile, prompting Sam to stare out the windshield, and remain stoically silent, reaffirming his mission to find Jessica's killer.

And then there's all the lurking. The Winchesters have demonstrated some pretty poor judgment in the past when it comes to investigating crime. However, in "Hook Man," they're just plain stupid. Even after getting caught once (and talking their way out of being charges), they still show up while crime scenes are abuzz with police. The worst infraction (probably in the history of television) is when they boys break into the sorority house in order to examine the crime scene. It's a bright, sunshiny day, and here they are, scaling the side of a large, largely unconcealed building, edging their way along to the window (which faces the yard leading up to the street where all the police activity is happening) and climb inside. We actually see police officers and witnesses in the yard, although, by the sheer will of God, for that minute and a half, no one notices the two guys (who have already been caught) scaling the building in broad daylight.

Throw on the fact that the Hook Man, like the Wendigo has a sense of the dramatic (he doesn't just attack people, he stands around looking menacing, and scratching the scenery up first) and you've got yourself a pretty weak episode. TV.com says that "series creator Eric Kripke admitted this was one of his least favorite episodes calling it 'Fairly lame and anemic.'" It looks like Kripke and I agree.

Rating: 2.0 stars

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