The Moffatts - Submodalities

Just Another Phase - 3
Bang Bang Boom - 3
California - 2
Always In My Heart - 2
Typical - 2
Walking Behind - 2
Antifreeze And Aeroplanes - 2
I Don't Want You To Want Me - 2
Life On Mars - 3
Who Do You Love - 1
Call The Doctor - 2
Spy - 3
Hidden Track 1 - 3
Hidden Track 2 - 3
Total - 35 stars / 14 songs = 2.50 stars

Until about three minutes ago, I didn't know what a "submodalities" meant. I'm still not completely solid on it, but the general concept (thanks to the Wikipedia page) is that submodalities are the kinds of distinctions that we can make based on sensory perceptions. They are the specific ways that we interpret our experiences (is something light or dark, sweet or salty, loud or quiet). The main distinction I've been trying to make is whether this album is just bad, or if it's terrible.

It starts off with its two singles, easily the most radio-friendly tracks. They are so engrained in my mind that it's nearly impossible for me to discern whether they're actually decent or if they're just familiar enough that I can't reject them. After that, things fall apart even more.

Lyrically, my sense of poetry feels kind of violated, but in a really awkward, uncertain sort of way. The whole experience is kind of like getting mounted by a newborn rhinoceros. "Who Do You Love" is the worst offender. I cannot imagine the song-writing process for this piece of crap. Was everyone sitting around the Moffatt family fireplace when one recited the lyrics, including such gems as "Who's is gonna be? Is it him or me?" as the rest of them looked on in awe. I can see Momma Moffatt now, fanning herself, trying to contain the overwhelming pride in her children.

I really wanted to like this album. The cover gives the impression of more grown-up musicians who were tired of the "boy band" label. It's got an edgier sound, and the hidden tracks had great potential, but until a Moffatt learns how to write a good song, crap is what this shall remain.