I am ashamed. Not because I am watching this show... although now that I think about it... No, I am ashamed because I am going to write about something about three weeks since I watched it. So, I warn you, the words you are about to read may not be entirely accurate, or even relevent. Then again, if you've read any of this blog, you're pretty used to it. Also, if you're actively looking for "Hercules: The Legendary Journey" recaps, you probably have bigger problems to deal with. So away we go...
Once again, we find ourselves checking in on Hercules during some domestic bliss. Him and his wife are plowing (the fields, I mean), when Hercules starts to get restless. He's thinking about all of the adventures that he used to have, but insists that he is content to stay at home. Then Iolaus shows up and stirs things up even more by talking at length about the battles they have fought together.
What I have failed to mention is that each time someone remembers a story that's happened before, we are privy to a flashback of that sequence. Whether it's Herc taking on giants, sea monsters, or the Hydra, it's all there. Apparently, this happened because another one of the "Action Pack" movies was dropped, so this movie was rushed to fill the gap. A good 45 minutes of the movie is clip-show. This isn't like M*A*S*H, which had seven seasons at its disposal from which to pick out the cream-of-the-crop scenes, here they take most of the action sequences from the previous four movies and regurgitate them for anyone silly enough to sit down. To make matters worse, it also follows the clip-show trope of introducing each scene with a line like "Hey, remember when...?" or "Oh yeah? But what about when...?" Luckily, this only takes up about the first half of the movie. By this point, Iolaus has done a good enough job of re-hashing the past that, after a consenting nudge from his wife, Hercules agrees to go off to take on a monster that has been plaguing a city.
One little thing before we move on: Iolaus brings up the fight with the Amazons, introducing that whole sequence from the first movie. That's all well and good, as it's a fight sequence, except... oh wait. Didn't Iolaus die in that fight? And then wasn't he brought back to life by Zeus erasing that whole period of time leaving noone but Hercules with the knowledge of those events? But hey, who's paying attention.
Also of note, it is mentioned in passing that Iolaus' wife died. This leaves Iolaus lamenting the fact that he has to play the role of mother and father. Apparently the thought never occurs to him that leaving his children unattended while he puts his life in danger, potentially orphaning them, for the sake of a good time, would not be the best decision as a mommy or a daddy.
So of they go, to help some random peasant, only when they arrive at his town, no one seems aware that there's any kind of beast afoot. So, our heroes go to the tavern to toast their guys' night out, when, through some kind of circumstances that I don't really remember, they end up in the titular maze of the minotaur.
Now, the minotaur had potential to be kind of a cool character. He was kind of awesome to see, with a killer voice, and some kind of mysterious connection to Zeus. Then, once the connection is revealed, it turns into a whole soppy familial thing that is amongst the most poorly scripted sequences in the series thus far.
Considering all the clippiness, that's pretty much it. Hercules eventually kills the minotaur (who was his half-brother!... although, considering how much of a whoor Zeus has shown himself to be, who isn't?), rescues Iolaus, and returns to his comfortable, normal life. That's it.
Really, this movie could have been good, but it ends up being a clip-show that makes the rest of the movies irrelevent... even more than they already were.
Rating: 1.75 stars
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