The Movies of 2011

Well, 2012 has come and gone, and like 12 years before, absolutely nothing happened. I know that the world's not supposed to implode, or turn into a giant radish or whatever until the 21st but I'm getting my skepticism out early. That being said, 2011 has been a year where a bunch of movies have come out and, for the third year running, I plan to rank the ones I saw.

This was an even worse year for theatre-going for me, in that I didn't do very much of it. 2009's list had 26 movies (from Dragonball: Evolution to District 9), while 2010's had a less-remarkable 21 (from Legion to Inception). This year, I only got out to seeing 14 new movies, slightly more than an average of once per month. Hell, I only saw 8 out of the 16 movies I called The Most Anticipated of 2011. But you don't care about any of that. In fact you've probably skipped past this. Purple. Monkey. Dishwasher. Now here's the list!

14) Red Riding Hood



Despite boasting the best-looking cloak cinematography since Spawn, Red Riding Hood is a mess of a film that stands out for having Amanda Seyfried somehow come out unscathed in a movie that me realize that even Gary Oldman makes mistakes.

13) Drive Angry

Nic Cage, whose first name apparently lost two syllables when he became a tool-for-hire, has become a film type all to himself. Like Tyler Perry, Jackie Chan, or Arnold Schwarzenegger, you now go into a Nic Cage movie trying to see if Nic Cage can out-Nic Cage himself. It's not until you've been sitting there for twenty minutes that you realize that you don't actually care and can't wait for it to be over.

12) Sucker Punch

On paper, this seemed like such a good idea. Giant lifelike Samurai statues? Steampunk Nazis? Carla Gugino? That's a recipe for brilliance. Insert clever food-related analogy which eventually leads to the impression that this movie left me disappointed with the somehow undelicious end result.

11) The Rite

The great lie of 2011:
Studio exec: Hey, Colin O'Donoghue, you want the lead role in this movie? Yeah? Okay, we've got some great news for you, we've also got Anthony Hopkins! He's going to be involved in about 40% of the movie. Now don't worry if we throw his name and face onto some posters, that's just to try and put a few butts in the seats. But you, baby, you're the star.

10) Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Borrowing from The Hangover's school of thought that sequels should be the exact same thing but just kind of bigger, the same charms of the original continue to be the high points of the follow-up, while its flaws get expanded to the point of muffling the bulk of the fun.

9) Thor

Not unlike last year's The Wolfman, Thor does an incredible job of creating an awesome setting which sets the perfect mood for the adventure. Instead of a fight with a werewolf Anthony Hopkins, however, we get a fight with a giant, fire-breathing robot and an ending that makes you feel like you just watched a two-hour commercial for The Avengers

8) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Oh what high hopes I had for the Harry Potter finale. After the admittedly awesome first part, I was hoping for more of the creative, compelling choices that made it so successful. Instead, we get action sequence after action sequence with throw-outs to the fans that would have otherwise led to outrage.

7) X-Men: First Class

I'll be the first to admit that my taste in X-Men movies doesn't always jive with everyone else's. When it came out, I really liked X-Men: The Last Stand, and I didn't despise X-Men Origins: Wolverine. So I'm not exactly on the First Class bandwagon along with everyone else. For sure it's entertaining, but it's not the genre-game-changer that it was made out to be (that, my friends, was a little movie called Iron Man).

6) The Thing

I suppose it's kind of hypocritical for me to crap on the Sherlock Holmes franchise for doing the same thing twice and then praise The Thing for pretty much the same thing but it's not like you read these things because of my epic credibility anyway. I think the difference comes from the respect that The Thing has for its predecessor. Rather than trying to cut two films out of the same cloth, the 2011 version is a very respectful homage with some fancy new CGI.

5) The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

With the full review forthcoming, all I can say at this point is that it's not often that movies affect me, or shake me, or leave me wanting to cleanse the world of certain types of people but The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is notable for being a challenging movie to watch even if it does seem like it suffers from condensation and complexity in its transition from the page.

4) Super 8

When J.J. Abrams does his best Steven Spielberg impression, you end up with a reminder that sometimes there's just such a thing as a good movie. While the ending suffers under the strain of its hokiness, there's plenty of excitement and fun to make a legitimately entertaining movie.

3) Bridesmaids

In the war between people who think that Bridesmaids is an overrated, unfunny steamy pile and those who felt refreshed by seeing a woman poop in a sink, I fall into the latter camp. It's a story about a woman who keeps making us want to choke her for getting in her own way but who we love because she speaks more openly and honestly than we've allowed ourselves to believe women are allowed to.

2) Contagion

Contagion, quite simply, made me scared of everything and not want to die. Intriguing in its exploration of the possible fallout of a murderous flu, it is the film's frightening plausibility that gives it its power and, subsequently, my #2 spot.

1) The Muppets

Look how happy these guys are to win...



You just have to see it to get it. And if you see it, and don't get it, you may need to send a teeny-tiny spelunking team into your body in order to discover why your soul is a shriveled black mass of depression and pain. With its boundless delightfulness and self-conscious nostalgic optimism, The Muppets is the clear winner for best movie of 2011.